Wasps

The snow has returned to Chicago. We've had a really quiet and clear - though cold - February, but last night and today we've gotten several inches. It is kind of nice, since we had a break.

I watched the movie Dan in Real Life last night. I thought that it was a very sweet movie, kind of quiet and mostly kind. There were several moments when I thought, "Aww, I hope my family will be like that someday." The movie takes place at one of those large family vacation gatherings, the kind where you have big dinners together but everyone eats breakfast on their own. The kind where there's a big, ridiculous football game and at least one awkward family fight. You know the kind.

I think about the future a lot these days. (It is certainly better than thinking about the past.) I wonder what life will be like in the context of my family in the next few years. (I think I keep going back to this theme often; sorry if it is boring to you.) 30 isn't creeping up on me anymore - it is running at me, full tilt boogie. When I find someone to live and love my life with, when we become a family together, how will that be received in my larger family? Sure, I'm out to my parents and sister's family, but their level of acceptance is, on a scale of 1 to 10, probably a 2 - meaning that they don't beat me with broomsticks and curtain rods when something is said that relates to my gaiety, which would qualify as a 1. I'm not out to my extended family - aunts, uncles and cousins - and I'm working on a little something to rectify that at the moment. I think this will probably create some strain in the short term with my immediate family as they are better with the status quo, don't ask, don't tell policy that I've been playing along with for the last several years. But there's absolutely no reason why this should go on even a moment longer, why every last person in the world shouldn't have easy access to the knowledge that I'm gay.

In a slightly tangential note, I don't enjoy playing the eunuch bachelor uncle/cousin/nephew at Christmas, holidays, weddings and special events. It is creepy and false. So they are all going to have to get over that hump (pun intended) or stop seeing me.

Life is getting better. I have the upcoming weekend off of work, and I'm trying to make some plans for a getaway. I'm still waiting on my new glasses to arrive.

Currently Listening to:
"The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades is Out to Get Us!" by Sufjan Stevens