Southern Man

My bank manager goes to the mosque every Friday afternoon for a weekly prayer service. Today when he came back, he told us that there had been a special ceremony because a guy there had, in his words, "accepted Islam." Then he told us that the man had converted from Christianity. I said, "She must be really beautiful," and Mohammad said, "No, he." And then I explained my joke, that the man must be becoming a Muslim so that he can marry some beautiful woman. Don't tell him that I said so, but Mohammad's wife is a total knock-out. I'd convert for her.

But really, at the words accepted Islam, I became very uncomfortable with the whole conversation. I can't say that it was because I am unfamiliar with that sort of terminology or usage; I'm very familiar with it. Only from a Christian perspective, of course. It took me four-tenths of a second to realize how very off-putting and cultish a lot of our Christian verbiage and nounage must seem to those with limited knowledge of faithspeak and Bibletalk.

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I joined Facebook yesterday. I think that I'll probably come to regret that, but for now I'm finding it a profitable exercise, reconnecting with some really nice people from my past and connecting differently with some really nice people from my present. I'm adding friends slowly so that I can try to be personable and write a message to folks that I may not have talked with in six or eight years instead of just adding people to some silly roll call friends list.

A moment of unfettered honesty, I hope: I think that one reason I'm doing this is to prove to myself that I have friends. And I do have friends! Lovely, nice people. But I'm not the kind of person that collects connections or flaunts friendliness, and I don't have many friends in the here and now. So I'm reminding myself that I like people and people like me. I'm getting better about this in the real world, too, attending this Sunday night church service the last three weeks and meeting some nice and funny people. Making conversation and laughing, I can do it!

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But do I sabotage myself? Do I wait until I have my flight booked and my exit from the scene staged before I really try to love and embrace the place where I am? I've been accused of that, but I don't think it is necessarily fair. Sure, it is easier to try meeting new people and getting involved in new things now that my calendar says T-minus three months to liftoff. If something doesn't work out, no sweat, I'm leaving anyway. But I'm no commitment-phobe, and I've managed to make great new friends in lots of places that I've been in the world.

I guess the truth is that things really start coming together after a year of living somewhere. Stuff becomes second nature, and you get to know people, even the incidental little people in your life, on a deeper level. Opportunities arise, things grow and change, and life becomes easier and better. Sadly for me, that is also the time that I am itching to move along to somewhere else, something new and exciting and different. So while there are some really positive and advantageous changes coming at my work, and while I may have just met some really cool new people, and while I may be totally digging this new church service, and while they may be building a Trader Joe's - I couldn't dream this up if I wanted - at the end of the block where I live, I am still getting ready to leave. Again.

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I got some papers in the mail yesterday from my building managers asking me to renew my lease - which expires at the end of next month - for another year. I was kind of sweating it, then: what if they won't let me stay for just a few months, what if they want another year commitment or I have to be out? Moving to a new, temporary place in Chicago just isn't an option; way too much expense, work, and hassel to justify a three month stay. So I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility of moving to Savannah at the end of April instead of the end of July. That would be so soon!

I called today on my lunch break, and they are letting me go month-to-month, just asking for a month's notice before I move out. Dodged a bullet on that one.


Currently Listening to:
Neil Young, Greatest Hits