Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night

This is a fictional account.

I was a terrible person the other night. I don't remember most of it. The drinks were evidently much stronger on this particular night than on all other previous nights that I've spent at this bar. Also, we got a pitcher, and I drank almost all of it. Hrm. My escorts were being pussies, and I didn't want anything to go to waste, child of the Depression that I am. After a good bit of the bebidas had been drunk, there was (I've heard) a hairless Filipino involved somehow, in some way; also some dancing and heavy petting with a Christina Aguilera-type drag queen (I actually remember this); some incredible freaking out about a mysteriously disappearing straw; some gradual inability to remain steadily upright; and some persistent badgering for me to take my shirt off on the dance floor (this did not, would never happen).

Like I said, though, I don't remember most of the four hours that we spent at this particular bar. This has never, ever happened to me before. This should probably have happened to me sometime in my early 20s, if it was ever going to happen. What is it about my personal permanent developmental delay? Why am I so far behind all of my peers? Also, I suspect that I was drugged.

I was driven home, though I live a mere six blocks from this particular establishment. Things were spinning. I was walked to my door. I managed to stay in bed for a few minutes before the puking began. Serious, soul-shifting puking. The puking lasted until the next day, mid-afternoon. Also there was a grinding headache. I was miserable. I had to cancel the only plans that I had been looking forward to that weekend, cancel on a nice afternoon with some uber-cool friends. Boo on me.

What did I learn from this? I learned that when the first sip makes you say, "Hey, this is a lot stronger than usual," you should slow the fuck down. Also, I learned that dancing with a cross-dresser is fun as long as no one is taking pictures, and you don't linger; get in, get out.

Currently Listening to
Cassadega
I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning and
Digital Ash in a Digital Urn by Bright Eyes because I was talking to this guy the other day, and he said how he really likes Bright Eyes too but hasn't listened to him in forever, and it made me realize that I haven't listened to him in forever either. And that is some good stuff, people.