Life at an Intersection

Chicago Phoenix, indemnity bonds, journaling, really really really want a zigazig ah, travel, books, travel books, relationships, values. It is hard to pinpoint precisely, but I'd say about 82% of what you read here is true. The rest is fictional nonfiction.

Monday, July 21, 2008

A Nice Walk


I stood outside that store until your face appeared. It wasn't that long of a wait, really; I imagine you take a photo every time you go in there. I imagine you think of it as some sort of gift to the world, your visage on those screens. You are interesting looking, at the very least, I'll grant you that. Your emo sweep of fringe and crooked mocking smirk look just perfect poised above that dummy and its shirt. Beautiful brown eyes.

I walked up Broadway in the cool evening breeze. I passed next week's boyfriend holding hands with this week's boyfriend, and I though, "Used goods. Pass."

I walked past the restaurant where I will celebrate my 29th birthday next month. I walked past a tanning bed window display. How much is that melanoma in the window? I walked past the gays that I despise and their beautiful women. I walked, with some effort, around a couple who was taking up entirely too much sidewalk for only two people.

At the corner of Belmont I saw that guy that I keep seeing everywhere I go. Train from O'Hare, movie in the park downtown, now here on the street. Eyes like slate grey river rocks, or the pools that hold them. Regrettable sideburns, though.

I walked past the bank that isn't mine but could some day be mine, and I saw the cleaning lady casually wiping a counter and talking furiously into her phone.

I walked past an Indian princess at whose feet I would surely worship and learn Punjabi. I would take the three day train from Mumbai and greet her family in whatever traditional way I must in order to make her mine.

I walked past mannequins with nipples much too prominent to properly display men's clothing, and breasts much too small to display women's.

I was cut off at the next crossing by a couple of women in a car with an open sunroof. I didn't yell, because I'm not impulsive like that. I took off my red flip-flop and chucked it at the side of their car, because I am impulsive like that. As they drove away, I wished that somehow I had been able to lob the flip-flop through the sunroof and into the car. I'm not sure why, though, since it wouldn't really have made as big of an impression as the noisy thon-nk in their side panel did. Something about carnival games, I think.

I walked home barefoot because I couldn't stand the thought of retrieving that symbol of pedestrian rage, no matter how well those flip-flops match my red kids-size soccer jersey from Costa Rica. I got dripped on a couple of times by window a/c units overhanging the sidewalk. What is worse than being dripped on? Nothing is the answer that you are looking for. I walked past sushi restaurants that were entirely too full for 9 pm on a Monday, and past that ice cream shop where we had our last great date, and then I jumped a couple of curbside puddles and came home.

Maybe in five years' time that's all that I will remember of you anyway: a flat screen image perched above an empty chest. I'm more interested in the world when I'm on my own anyway.

Currently Listening To:
Interventions and Lullabies by The Format

Sunday, July 6, 2008


Summer rolls on. It has been such a wonderful season here. Before last week, we had only one 90 degree day! It was in the 90s most of last week, but I'm following a strictly-no-complaints-allowed policy. As I see it, you can only pick one season to complain about, and here in Chicago you are crazy if you choose to whine about the beautiful, sunshiney summer instead of the desolate, soul-sucking winter.

I want your heart to be set upon me, to want me, as mine is set upon wanting you. (Tennyson)



I was in Montana last weekend for my cousin's wedding. It was a beautiful time together with family and a wonderful event. I had the chance to spend some time with family that I hadn't seen in about six years, and the opportunity to meet some future family members-in-law. (Everyone's getting married now. "When will we be attending a wedding for you, David?") We spent a day inside Yellowstone National Park, did a little hiking, and I got to play with my niece Ellie a little bit, too. I also had the chance to reflect a little on the emergence of a very strong line of females in the Bennett family. My cousin's mother was quite the dominant force at the wedding, and is not just a bit reminiscent (personality-wise) of my sister Amy. My cousin's bride is just like his mother, and my dearly departed Grandma's memory was often referenced. Now young Ellie is making her presence and capable lungs often and loudly heard. It was a long weekend, in the sense that sometimes when I am with family I feel every minute acutely, but a good weekend, too.



The future has got me worried, such awful thoughts.
My head is a carousel of pictures.
The spinning never stops.
I just want someone to walk in front
and I'll follow the leader...
But if everything that happens is supposed to be
and it is predetermined, can't change your destiny,
Then I guess I'll just keep moving, someday, maybe, I'll get to where I'm going... (Bright Eyes)

The best thing that I did for myself this summer is purchasing a window-unit air conditioner. The last time I lived here in Chicago I sweated the summer away thinking that I was saving so much money by not being a bourgeois A/C pig. Even now that I have it, I don't need to use it that much, and it is pretty energy efficient when I run it, I guess. I was looking forward, with a bit of trepidation, to seeing how much my power bill would go up though. Yesterday I received the bill, and it is a full $3 more expensive than last month. Well worth it.


Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it... (Indigo Girls)

I went to another movie-in-the-park last week: All About Eve. It was really good! I can recommend it highly, especially if you enjoy older movies or might like a glimpse at the state of feminism in the early 1950s. Tuesday night I'm hoping to crash a Lucinda Williams concert downtown. It is at a lakefront amphitheater, so I'm gonna try to chill on the beach or grass nearby and catch whatever sonic rays of goodness I can.

I am weary of you, my lover. I am weary of your continual blind selfishness; nearly pure you are in your selfishness, like a small child or idiot savant, unable to feel what another person is feeling, unable to understand or live the Golden Rule. (The Barth)

Currently Listening To:
Arcade Fire, Iron and Wine, and Nickel Creek

Twitter / Davie_St

Words That I'm Living By - 5/2/2010

Time, as I've known it
Doesn't take much time to pass by me
Minutes into days, turn into months
Turn into years, they hurry by me
But still I love to see the sun go down
And the world go around

Dreams full of promises
Hopes for the future, I've had many
Dreams I can't remember now
Hopes that I've forgotten,
faded memories
But still I love to see the sun go down
And the world go around

And I love to see the morning
as it steals across the sky
I love to remember and
I love to wonder why
And I hope that I'm around
so I can be there when I die
When I'm gone

I hope that you will think of me
In moments when you're happy and you're smiling
That the thought will comfort you
On cold and cloudy days
if you are crying
And that you'll love to see
the sun go down
And the world go around
And around and around

"Around and Around" by Mark Kozelek

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