Then and Now

Thrilling. For all the travel and international gallivanting that one does, making friends and enjoying people the world 'round, there is scarce a chance to follow up on those friendships and connections in a meaningful face-to-face way. Last night the old boy and I got to see our dear friend Amelie as she passed through Chicago with her rag-tag group of friends on their whirlwind U.S. tour. She just might be the most international friend that I have. We met in Guatemala, where we stayed in the same house and studied at the same school as her and her friend from back home in France. We had the chance to travel with them a couple of weekends and spend lots of quality time together in Antigua, soaking up their Continental je ne sais quoi. After Guatemala, Amelie went to visit her brother in Shanghai for a few weeks, after which she obtained a visa to work in Canada for a year. She has just finished several months in Vancouver, and is travelling with her friends to Montreal, where she plans to stay until next March. And then, who knows?



In our home in Antigua



At Giordano's last night



At a Guatemalan brunch feast



On the Red Line last night



One more from Thanksgiving at the avocado farm in Guatemala because it is such a smiley picture, and I just love her so much


In a completely unrelated note, will the horrors unleashed on us by the current U.S. presidential administration never cease? I'm not sure I want to live in a country that can sanction this kind of torture on poor, defenseless bicycles. Ripped gear from limb, leaving only one sad pedal and one sturdy bike lock behind. Whatever happened to the Geneva Convention, habeas corpus, and the rule of law?



Seriously, doesn't it remind you of those Abu Graib Iraqi prison photos, with the hoods and the dog leashes? I'm not being flippant; there's something stark and horrible about it.



How would you go about reporting this to the police? "Um, my bike has been stolen, I guess. Piece by piece. They left, um, kind of the middle part, just. And a twist of broken chain. And a pedal."


Currently Unable to Stop My Hands from Involuntarily Moving to the Sounds of
The Life Pursuit by Belle and Sebastian

A Nice Walk

I stood outside that store until your face appeared. It wasn't that long of a wait, really; I imagine you take a photo every time you go in there. I imagine you think of it as some sort of gift to the world, your visage on those screens. You are interesting looking, at the very least, I'll grant you that. Your emo sweep of fringe and crooked mocking smirk look just perfect poised above that dummy and its shirt. Beautiful brown eyes.

I walked up Broadway in the cool evening breeze. I passed next week's boyfriend holding hands with this week's boyfriend, and I though, "Used goods. Pass."

I walked past the restaurant where I will celebrate my 29th birthday next month. I walked past a tanning bed window display. How much is that melanoma in the window? I walked past the gays that I despise and their beautiful women. I walked, with some effort, around a couple who was taking up entirely too much sidewalk for only two people.

At the corner of Belmont I saw that guy that I keep seeing everywhere I go. Train from O'Hare, movie in the park downtown, now here on the street. Eyes like slate grey river rocks, or the pools that hold them. Regrettable sideburns, though.

I walked past the bank that isn't mine but could some day be mine, and I saw the cleaning lady casually wiping a counter and talking furiously into her phone.

I walked past an Indian princess at whose feet I would surely worship and learn Punjabi. I would take the three day train from Mumbai and greet her family in whatever traditional way I must in order to make her mine.

I walked past mannequins with nipples much too prominent to properly display men's clothing, and breasts much too small to display women's.

I was cut off at the next crossing by a couple of women in a car with an open sunroof. I didn't yell, because I'm not impulsive like that. I took off my red flip-flop and chucked it at the side of their car, because I am impulsive like that. As they drove away, I wished that somehow I had been able to lob the flip-flop through the sunroof and into the car. I'm not sure why, though, since it wouldn't really have made as big of an impression as the noisy thon-nk in their side panel did. Something about carnival games, I think.

I walked home barefoot because I couldn't stand the thought of retrieving that symbol of pedestrian rage, no matter how well those flip-flops match my red kids-size soccer jersey from Costa Rica. I got dripped on a couple of times by window a/c units overhanging the sidewalk. What is worse than being dripped on? Nothing is the answer that you are looking for. I walked past sushi restaurants that were entirely too full for 9 pm on a Monday, and past that ice cream shop where we had our last great date, and then I jumped a couple of curbside puddles and came home.

Maybe in five years' time that's all that I will remember of you anyway: a flat screen image perched above an empty chest. I'm more interested in the world when I'm on my own anyway.

Currently Listening To:
Interventions and Lullabies by The Format

Summer rolls on. It has been such a wonderful season here. Before last week, we had only one 90 degree day! It was in the 90s most of last week, but I'm following a strictly-no-complaints-allowed policy. As I see it, you can only pick one season to complain about, and here in Chicago you are crazy if you choose to whine about the beautiful, sunshiney summer instead of the desolate, soul-sucking winter.

I want your heart to be set upon me, to want me, as mine is set upon wanting you. (Tennyson)

I was in Montana last weekend for my cousin's wedding. It was a beautiful time together with family and a wonderful event. I had the chance to spend some time with family that I hadn't seen in about six years, and the opportunity to meet some future family members-in-law. (Everyone's getting married now. "When will we be attending a wedding for you, David?") We spent a day inside Yellowstone National Park, did a little hiking, and I got to play with my niece Ellie a little bit, too. I also had the chance to reflect a little on the emergence of a very strong line of females in the Bennett family. My cousin's mother was quite the dominant force at the wedding, and is not just a bit reminiscent (personality-wise) of my sister Amy. My cousin's bride is just like his mother, and my dearly departed Grandma's memory was often referenced. Now young Ellie is making her presence and capable lungs often and loudly heard. It was a long weekend, in the sense that sometimes when I am with family I feel every minute acutely, but a good weekend, too.

The future has got me worried, such awful thoughts.
My head is a carousel of pictures.
The spinning never stops.
I just want someone to walk in front
and I'll follow the leader...
But if everything that happens is supposed to be
and it is predetermined, can't change your destiny,
Then I guess I'll just keep moving, someday, maybe, I'll get to where I'm going... (Bright Eyes)

The best thing that I did for myself this summer is purchasing a window-unit air conditioner. The last time I lived here in Chicago I sweated the summer away thinking that I was saving so much money by not being a bourgeois A/C pig. Even now that I have it, I don't need to use it that much, and it is pretty energy efficient when I run it, I guess. I was looking forward, with a bit of trepidation, to seeing how much my power bill would go up though. Yesterday I received the bill, and it is a full $3 more expensive than last month. Well worth it.

Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it... (Indigo Girls)

I went to another movie-in-the-park last week: All About Eve. It was really good! I can recommend it highly, especially if you enjoy older movies or might like a glimpse at the state of feminism in the early 1950s. Tuesday night I'm hoping to crash a Lucinda Williams concert downtown. It is at a lakefront amphitheater, so I'm gonna try to chill on the beach or grass nearby and catch whatever sonic rays of goodness I can.

I am weary of you, my lover. I am weary of your continual blind selfishness; nearly pure you are in your selfishness, like a small child or idiot savant, unable to feel what another person is feeling, unable to understand or live the Golden Rule. (The Barth)

Currently Listening To:
Arcade Fire, Iron and Wine, and Nickel Creek

Saca in the Wind

My awesome "free"/"borrowed" internet is down at home, so I'm arm-twisted into packing up my baby and its umbilical cord and buying a $4 cup of tea for a couple hours of the wifi commodity that used to be free and easy, on demand. What a bummer!

I saw two things in the last 24 hours that were of note to me.

1 - Last night, on a bus ride home, I saw an otherwise sane-appearing girl with a broom, nudging one of those rolling two-shelf TV carts down the sidewalk. Sweep, roll. Sweep, roll. It was like a parody of that awful Canadian winter sport curling. Or a sly commentary on TV abuse and TV's abuse.

Side note, I was riding the bus home from Most Awesome Summer Event Ever: an outdoor movie showing of "Hairspray" at one of the northside lake beaches. It was also the Gayest Event I've Ever Attended, and I'm including Lilith Fair. Think about it, though: movie musical, pride week, Zac Efron. Who's surprised the gays came out in droves?

2 - This morning before work, while waiting to cross a street, a short bus drove by. In the bus's very last row, two arms raised high above his head, fingers clinging to the window's top, his face pressed against the glass with mouth agape, a special boy. He, I think, was enjoying the ride. His pose was dramatic. He made me smile.

Currently Netflixing:
Freaks and Geeks

Who Knew

I've never really gotten too comfortable with this blog. I don't post here often, so I guess that I don't remember to mention the more colorful inanities that give life that wonderful lived-in feel.

Last week was concert week. We saw Death Cab for Cutie on Tuesday at Millennium Park in the heart of beautiful downtown Chicago. It is a pretty cool venue, but maybe not perfect for a more introspective-ish alternative band like Death Cab.



Here is a picture from the concert that proves that I have two - 2! - friends in Chicago. They are married, and they are about to have a baby just like all the rest of you suckers, but I'm still counting them and counting them separately. Maybe after Lucy comes I'll be able to say that I have three - 3! - friends here. Kyle and Melissa are the coolest. Oh yeah, we went to a James Taylor concert on Friday also, but I didn't take any pictures there.



Now that I'm living in this strange foreign land, I wanted to show you a picture of some canned food that I found in my local import store the other day. How ribald! How outrageous! How microwaveable?!?!



I've been struggling with forgiveness lately. More specifically if or how to create it. In the midst of the complexity and confusion that is a serious romantic relationship arose a situation that I am finding incredibly difficult to deal with. I'm not sure if I can forgive; I'm not sure if I want to forgive. I know that in simpler instances I have been able to choose forgiveness, but that doesn't seem to be an option here. I'm at a bit of an impasse, I guess. The hurt and bitterness grow. Mostly hurt.

Currently Just Watched:
Once