I Have No Problem With That

I love my co-worker and friend Sofia. She kept me laughing and in good spirits through the work day yesterday, a most impressive feat. She even offered to break up with her long-term boyfriend (soon to be fiance!), so that we could go through all this drama and sadness together. Now there's a selfless - if morally questionable - friend. Then, when I turned down that generous offer, she came up with about 15 different things that we could do together this weekend to stay busy and have fun and keep our minds occupied. They were all great ideas, and I promised her that we would hang out next week sometime, but I told her that I really need to spend this weekend alone, thinking and writing and watching funny TV shows and reading and being disgustingly emotional.

Speaking of questionable values, I think that is the most daunting thing for me about the already near-impossible task of Finding Someone. There just aren't that many gay guys out there that share much of the same moral code as me. For instance, and sorry if this is too much information - skip ahead why don't you? - I would prefer to meet someone, build a friendship, start a relationship over time, and then include sex. Hopefully that startling revelation didn't rock your world too much. But it probably isn't much of a news flash either for me to say that most gay men go right for the sex. They reason something like, hey, we're men, we can keep things no-strings-attached and purely physical. That seems very distasteful and empty and disrespectful to me, and isn't something that I could justify based on my own personal morality. So that rules out about 95% of eligible men for me.

You know what I want, ultimately? To be married, one half of an old, boring married couple like my parents. Not exactly like my parents (who would say that?), but in the same fashion as my parents. I won't apologize for wanting something very conventional, and wanting to take a very traditional route to get there.

TV is kind of back! Scrubs, Lost, The Office, 30 Rock! Survivor in a couple of weeks. I started watching The Wire, Season 1 last night on DVD. Has anyone seen it? I'm only on episode 3, but it is a really cool show so far. I don't normally get into cop shows, and anything involving drugs is usually a total downer, but something about this show gets my attention. The language is awful, and that actually does bother me. I guess I'm coming off as some sort of naive prude this morning. :) Also, I've been watching the first season of Arrested Development on hulu.com, because it is one of those shows that people rave about, and I wanted to see what I missed. It is actually quite funny once you get into it, and hulu is a great, free way to watch it.

Yesterday after work I walked down to Diversey Harbor, one of my favorite spots. There's still a few inches of snow on the ground everywhere, but the path was pretty well worn. There were lots of Canada geese out on the ice. Hey, where do all the boats go during the winter? I walked up the lakeshore path to Belmont and enjoyed having the wind on the right side of my face and the sun on my left.

Currently Listening to:
Emotionalism by the Avett Brothers