Life at an Intersection

Chicago Phoenix, indemnity bonds, journaling, really really really want a zigazig ah, travel, books, travel books, relationships, values. It is hard to pinpoint precisely, but I'd say about 82% of what you read here is true. The rest is fictional nonfiction.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Modern Housewives

I think that Modern Family is the best, most intelligent show on TV. There are other good comedies on television now: The Office is smart and the characters are very well-developed, 30 Rock is slapstick and hilarious if often cursory, Scrubs is still hanging on with its glowing, celebratory homoeroticism and sarcasm. Arrested Development was hilarious because it was outrageous, no-holds-barred, not remotely believable, and every character was (at least) seriously morally compromised. But last night when I was watching Modern Family, I actually had a moment where I said, aloud, to the TV, "Yes." This show is just so accurate, so true to how life is. There aren't any good people or bad people on this show, just three wildly different but connected family units made up of entirely true characters. The dialogue and family dynamics are so believable, so real life.

In last night's episode, there was a struggle between Claire and Phil, the straight married couple, as a result of her inability to figure out how to operate the new, fancy, fandangled television remote control. Phil wanted to teach her how to use it and Claire resisted, which led to an exchange something like this between Claire and her daughter Haley:

Haley - Why can't Dad teach you to use the remote?
Claire - Because we are married.

That, to me, is how relationships work.


I guess I'm not a very ambitious person. Or maybe I'm just not a very driven person. I'm sure there's a fine disitinction, but I'm either too overcome by inertia or cozy in my current personality divet to figure it out.

I found out last week that my ex-boyfriend Kevin was admitted to the University of Chicago's Master's of Social Work program and is pursuing admission at Columbia University in New York City as well. This was surprising to me. That probably sounds condescending and patronizing or just plain rude, but my surprise has nothing to do with his intellectual capacity (which is quite high) or his qualifications (which are impressive, I'm sure). It has to do with the fact that he is setting his sights on prestigious schools and programs instead of settling for easier, safer - and frankly cheaper - options.

I need to go back to school for a master's degree next fall, too. I've been kicking this down the road since, um, 2005, when I was admitted to Loyola University in New Orleans but chose to move to Chicago instead. (That was the summer that God and Pat Robertson decided to punish the wicked city of New Orleans via Hurricane Katrina anyway, so it was a serendipitous choice.) My criteria for schools and programs that I'm looking at right now can be summed up in two words: quick and cheap. I'm not aiming for the skies or a fancy degree; I just want to do it and be done with it so that I can get back to a career that I truly loved, teaching.

But here's a confession, something I've been thinking about and ruminating on lately: what if I really just want to be a family man? I really hate the feminizing pronouns and roles that a lot of gay men adopt in their quest for a unique gender identity - I'm a man, and if we are gonna be together, you should be too, as that's kind of the point - but something about this song by Jay Brannan really speaks to me.

There's a couple of f-bombs in here, so you might not want to watch this if you have a teensy, impressionable child on your lap or something. Otherwise, it is a beautiful song. Jay Brannan posing the musical question, "I want to be a housewife, what's so wrong with that?"

Currently Reading:
South of Broad by Pat Conroy, which contains this lovely snippet:
"Because I had the Southern boy's disease of needing to be liked by everyone I met..."


Liza January 21, 2010 at 7:32 PM  

I've only been watching Modern Family for two weeks, but I love it! I started it because 1) I knew you loved it and 2) Eugene and Mindy told me I had to. It really is fantastic. I told Cecelia at work this morning (she also loves it) that my favorite two parts were the remote "Because we're married" part, and the flowers on fire "Two things flaming at once" part. So nice to be able to talk TV with you again :)

I'm ok with you being a housewife. Family man. Househusband. Whatever.
I want to get married and have babies but do NOT want to be a housewife. So let's just, everyone, break all kinds of gender roles.

annesue January 24, 2010 at 6:04 AM  

ah, i know whatyou mean with quick and cheap...that´s why i chose the socialwork ed here, only takes 3½years (something like a semi college semi uni degree)
that was a very beautiful song, nice voice, hot singer:D

scott, tami and asher February 9, 2010 at 12:21 AM  

Not to freak you out but I read this blog and thought "then he would have to live next door to us!!" We could take the kidddos - yours and mine - on play dates together. I could help you cook. :-) You have to admit, it would be fun fun....

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Twitter / Davie_St

Words That I'm Living By - 5/2/2010

Time, as I've known it
Doesn't take much time to pass by me
Minutes into days, turn into months
Turn into years, they hurry by me
But still I love to see the sun go down
And the world go around

Dreams full of promises
Hopes for the future, I've had many
Dreams I can't remember now
Hopes that I've forgotten,
faded memories
But still I love to see the sun go down
And the world go around

And I love to see the morning
as it steals across the sky
I love to remember and
I love to wonder why
And I hope that I'm around
so I can be there when I die
When I'm gone

I hope that you will think of me
In moments when you're happy and you're smiling
That the thought will comfort you
On cold and cloudy days
if you are crying
And that you'll love to see
the sun go down
And the world go around
And around and around

"Around and Around" by Mark Kozelek

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